RWT: Legolas, Gimli, and JK Rowling Teach us how to Write an Action Scene

Today's Random Writing Tip, as requested, will discuss some ways to improve your fight scenes.

So the biggest and most repeated tip I've heard about writing action scenes is to use short, choppy sentences. I guess the idea is for this to demonstrate the quick pace of the scene, but I'm here to tell you NO.

This is not a technique I use regularly in my own writing. (Keep in mind, I'm not a professional, this is all just my opinion and what works best for me) It feels awkward when I try and put these short sentences together, especially if it's coming from the POV of a character who doesn't typically speak in choppy fragments.

I think the easiest way to talk about this is to give an example from a book lots of people are familiar with. We can probably all agree that the Harry Potter series has been pretty successful. So let's look at how the queen JK herself approaches an action scene.

"The air exploded. They had been grouped together, Harry, Ron, Hermione, Fred, and Percy, the two Death Eaters at their feet, one Stunned, the other Transfigured; and in that fragment of a moment, when danger seemed temporarily at bay, the world was rent apart. Harry felt himself flying through the air, and all he could do was hold as tightly as possible to that thin stick of wood that was his one and only weapon, and shield his head in his arms: He heard the screams and yells of his companions without a hope of knowing what had happened to them-"

Okay, so I typed this up straight from a page in my copy of the Deathly Hallows. Do you notice anything strange about this clip from an action scene? Not only is it one giant paragraph, it's practically one giant sentence! There is nothing short and/or choppy about this scene, and it's describing an EXPLOSION. If there was ever a time to use choppy sentences in an action scene or otherwise, you'd think the events of an actual explosion would be the best time for it. JK certainly didn't seem to think so.

One other thing you might want to make note of, this passage is telling us more about what's going on in Harry's head and how he is reacting to the scene than just describing the scene itself. This is because, as is often the case, what readers really care about is EMOTION. They want to see what HARRY thinks, not a detailed visual of how many wood splinters and pieces of rubble are flying through the air. So keep emotion in mind while writing your fight scene.

Now this excerpt was more explosion heavy than what people might think of as a typical fight scene with whistling swords and perfectly placed punches. I do think though, that the same rules apply. Get inside your character's head and tell the reader how they feel. Are they exhausted? What keeps them fighting even though they're in pain? How do they feel about the person they're fighting? A reader will be much more interested in these things than slogging through your perfectly choreographed fight scene that describes the name and execution of each type of strike.

On that note, make sure you're being realistic. It makes logical sense that a little girl wouldn't be able to knock out a grown man with one punch, at least not without SERIOUS training and experience (unless it was pre-teen Wonder Woman or something). I never like it in books and movies when the main character just happens to pick up a bow or a sword and has this natural ability to kick butt as if they've trained their whole lives for it. So be realistic. If you don't know anything about fighting, do some research. When I was picking weapons for my characters, I looked into everything from slingshots to katanas because I wanted to find the perfect weapon that fit with my character's fighting style, physical capabilities, and personality.

To use another popular example, let's do a comparison between Legolas and Gimli from Lord of the Rings. Legolas is an elf, tall, light on his feet, quick with his hands, and delicately mannered. Gimli is a dwarf, short, squat, and has a very blunt way of moving and speaking. So it makes perfect sense that Legolas's weapon of choice is a bow and Gimli's is an axe. If the characters tried to trade weapons, it would just feel wrong since they so obviously don't go together. An axe would seriously slow Legolas down, removing one of his greatest advantages in a fight: his speed. A bow would be too delicate for Gimli's more aggressive approach, and would probably break in his metal-forging dwarf hands the first time he tried to fire it.

If it helps any, I'm going to include a piece from my own writing and see what you guys think of it.

"She was on her feet now, the shock in her face replaced with a hint of anger. Eyes blazing, she tore off her gloves and ran at him. Feigning a high attack, she instead slid neatly through his legs and came up behind him to plant a heel between his shoulder blades, causing him to stumble forward. Dropping into a low crouch, she snagged his ankle, turning his stumble into a fall. He only managed to roll onto his back before she was on him, one small, dirty foot pinning his throat to the ground. He grabbed her leg, moving more quickly than she expected, and used it to shove her off balance. She fell to the floor beside him, her ankle still firmly in his grasp. Maintaining his grip to keep her from rolling away, he promptly sat on her stomach, using one arm to pin down her legs, and the other hand to encircle both her tiny wrists. She was now trapped underneath him, virtually unable to move."

This isn't as emotionally heavy as I literally just finished telling you to try and do because it's being described by an uninvolved third-party type observer. I should also point out that these two characters aren't trying to actually hurt each other. The person watching wanted to study the girl's fighting abilities, so he had her spar with an older friend.

Now I'll tell you a little more about the characters and you can see if you notice the differences in their fighting styles. The girl is young, essentially a teenager, and a fairy. She is very light, moves quickly, and has some significant training under her belt. The man is mid-sixties, human, and ex-military. Can you see how I wrote their fighting styles differently to reflect this? The girl moves around a lot, using her speed to slip through his guard. She also has to use his body weight to knock him over since she isn't strong enough to do so on her own. The man uses more crude and simple methods, especially after he makes note of how light she is, and pins her with the greatest advantage he has over her in this fight, his superior body weight.

Even though we can't see what's happening inside the character's heads, we learn a little bit about them just by watching them fight through the eyes of a casual observer. There also weren't too many over the top distracting details that made the scene feel excessive or like it was dragging on forever (at least I don't think so, not trying to toot my own horn or anything 😁)

But seriously, I want to know what you all think. I'm definitely no JK, but I did my best to demonstrate some of the points I made above. Let me know in the comments if you have any questions, tips on how to tighten up my writing, or just general tips on fight scenes. Thanks!